I feel that I lost...

I feel I have lost. Who started the game I never wanted to play? Lost at everything. I can't seem to keep things going. I feel like I'm breaking down little by little. Life, work, family each eating me with their sharp teeth, taking pieces of me so there is nothing left. Sometimes, I want to cry, and sometimes I want to die. Sometimes I want to run away so fast, but I have no place to go. A room, a dirty cluttered room. My bed. I want to run away and not be me. I want to be someone else, something different, someone new. I want to win, and it seems so hard to believe in I can't breath. I am drowning in a scornful world. Trying to break the surface. I feel that I lost.